Life is too fast.

Today I woke up and had my usual cup of coffee, then soaked it up with a heart melting cinnamon roll.  Then I started to think about all of the things that I needed to get done today in order to stay caught up. I quickly found myself being overwhelmed with not only school work, but there were two big decisions about my future that I really needed to start considering and one particularly that I felt needed a quick answer, I had no answers. I still have none, but i've committed to fast for the entire day.

For the past few days i've been overwhelmed with a recent scenario, that could drastically change the future seasons of my life. I've been praying about it, but still doing life the same way as if I were not considering any big decisions. I guess I just feel like it should be different. The Lord moved me this morning to give up control- he urged me. Washing down the end of my cinnamon roll I was reminded of my immediate desires, and food being something that I rarely think about; in fact, typically overindulge without hesitance. I'm really hungry right now, but have been reminded today more than most days- of my need for God.

Im hungry, and Im thirsty God- fill me with the bread of life, I want to taste living water. Remove my thoughts from my immediate desires so that I might experience a greater depth of your love. 

Richard Rolle

"All love which is not God-directed is bad love, and makes its possessors bad, too."

-Richard Rolle

 Richard Rolle talks about about the real root of sin and compares it to both the seen and unseen. I think the sin that we are most aware of and quick to condemn is of course, the seen. Those who love to better themselves, cover themselves with gifts and are quick to cause arguments in order that they might become better than those around them- an extremely individualistic lifestyle they live; this is the sin that is always so evident. But Rolle makes a point in talking about the root being as much unseen as the seen. Could a vocational minister indulge in the same sin and still lead a congregation or community in the ways of Jesus. The unseen sin is found in the heart of those who have no appeal for self-image, they  have no desire to engage in arguments- longing to be perfect. This unseen sin is as deep as the seen- "they see themselves as saints standing out from the rest." The root of both sins is greed. It is very real possibility that a minster could fall deep into this sin. As a result it has potential to bring down all people that they surround themselves with. Family, community, and friends are all effected by the mass of greed that drives a person to look better than the world. It eventually takes its toll, "love for God and love for the world cannot coexist in the same soul: the stronger drives out the weaker, and it soon appears who loves the world, and who follows Christ. The strength of peoples love is shown in what they do." 

Father remove the greed my heart that leads me away from you, draw me in close- teach me to love as you have loved. 

Baptist Roots

I have been raised my entire life in a Southern Baptist church. If someone asked me what happens on a Sunday or Wednesday, I could almost show immediately from muscle memory. If asked about the Baptist doctrine, before this week- I would have given extremely vague answer. I may have responded with something like,"we believe that Jesus is Lord...and you need to be baptized to become a member.."
It was honestly humiliated sitting in class at a baptist university, not able to scratch the surface of our doctrine. As we were exploring the history of the Baptist Church, I found two things that majorly reshaped my understanding of Baptist doctrine; and have strangely created a new excitement for the Baptist faith.

1. The Baptist Church was birthed through a desire for religious freedom.

In the 1600's when the Roman Catholic Church was persecuting those who did not agree with their doctrine- John Smyth and Thomas Helwys said 'wait...we have read the bible. We should be free to practice our beliefs as we understand them.' They were a huge part of the fight for religious freedom and even wrote the first letter to argue for religious freedom. It's important to know today that our Baptist faith is deeply rooted in a personal understanding of God's word-rather than just merely believing and practicing the ways of other believers. It is so important that the church today still urges the importance of a personal understanding of God's word-through individual study.

2. Baptist are mission minded

In the early 1700's the First National Baptist Convention was formed soley to help with international missions. Johann Gerhard Oncken, a leader of convention- said that, "every Baptist is a missionary."  Our Baptist roots are also strongly founded on the mission of God- to the ends of the earth. It is important to claim the same passion that early Baptist had towards taking the good news to all people.

Monastic Movement

In Orthodox and Catholic paradigms, monks played a key role in mission for more than a thousand years. Why is this so, and how can we apply some of the same principles in our own context today?

The monastic movement was in the missional mindset of rather long term missions. Monks would move into cities/communities seeking to live amongst the natives: aiding in land development, building homes, and eventually monasteries that would be a source of educational development and other academics. Monks lived to see growth in communities, they reached out to the poor and broken with Christ compelled hearts seeking redemption and restoration. Today, we have much to learn about long term missions that take years to develop entire cities. We are such a consumer/immediate self satisfaction oriented culture that our ministries only last until they start to go downhill- then we bail and move on to the next popular movement or church plant.

God, give us patience- and remind us that missions belong to you.

Prayer

"Prayer is friendship with God. Friendship is not formal, but it is not formless: it has its cultivation, its behavior, its obligations, even its disciplines; and the casual mind kills it."

-George A. Buttrick 

My current prayer life is not so much formal- I wouldn't even begin to describe it as formal. But is form has not yet been matured. It has no schedule or disciplines for that matter. I would like my prayers to almost become more formal- that I develop a consistent schedule in which I pray specifically for different people in my life, organizations, and future oriented visions. I talked to one of my good friends a few weeks ago, and she has committed each day to pray specifically for things in her life. I would like to develop a scheduled prayer life- to offer up my life through prayer consistently and specifically each week, so that his response will not go unnoticed. 

Father, mold me into a man of prayer. 

Paul's Style

"Paul's mission is greatly affected by one decisive difference between ordinary grace periods and this God-given one---we, the debtors, have not been told how long the grace period will last."

-Stan Nussbaum 

Paul's urgency towards mission is strongly driven by his understanding of the grace period. He has no idea when Jesus will return, but he fully understands the good news as a result of his personal encounter with Jesus that he can only approach missions with urgency. He also knows that justice will be the result of Jesus' return, and that he is justified by grace through faith- but this good news has not yet been carried to the ends of the earth. 

I think today in the churches that I am familiar with and especially in my own life we do a great job in showing grace and being strategic in our missional efforts- but I sense this lack of urgency that Paul carried. His relationships and passion that he built with the people he came in contact with were built with urgency for kingdom growth. He not only shared the good news with them, but taught with such an urgency that it reflected his confidence. We are so casual about the way that we do life week to week, and even in our attempts to be missional- it seems to be done with timidity and discomfort. This lack of urgency in our missional efforts is dangerous because it is strongly a reflection in our confidence in the news that we are sharing. It could be helpful for local churches to be consistent in teaching classes focused on the urgency of the Gospel, but the best way for the gospel to advance is for the urgently missional pauls within the church to find timothy's and commit to doing life with them, so that they see and understand the Gospel in every aspect of life. 

God renew my understanding of grace each day, turn my self-reflected desires into an urgency for your kingdom. Multiply discipleship in my life- I commit to you a life of teaching young men to follow the Jesus that has given me life. 

"The nature of human beings is to be inactive unless influenced by some affection: love or hatred, desire, hope, fear, etc. These affections are the "spring of action," the things that set us moving in our lives, that move us to engage in the activities." 

-Johnathan Edwards

My life at ETBU has been changed because of affection. I have been loved so deeply by my savior that has become my "spring of action." The desires I have are all birthed from the things of my Heavenly Father- which, are all things. I understand that he desires to make all things new, and is in a constant state of redemption. The influence of his affection in my life has given me a passion for the things that I used to despise. For example, my GPA has seen some really bad days in my early collegiate years- and it still has its bad days. But the same love that I has been showered on me, I now have for the things of the world- I long to know more and more about all that surrounds me: process, theory, communication, history- so that I might know how to love more effectively. This semester more than ever, I am in love with my education, anxious to dig through my textbooks and to fill spirals with notes. 

Thank you, Jesus, for showing your power through my new love for education.